Careful You Do Not Destroy Each Other!

Galatians (5:15)
If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.


Healthy relationships aren't always conflict free; they're conflict resolving.
The problem is: we fight for victories instead of fighting for solutions.
The result is: one wins, one loses, and the relationship suffers!

1) Differences are inevitable, normal, and potentially beneficial. They're inevitable, because relationships bring people together very different people. They're normal because all relationships, including great ones, experience them.

2) There are three conflicting handling styles:

A) The avoid style. These are the 'don't want to rock the boat' and let sleeping dogs lie' people. They fear confrontation, so they bury their feelings, not realizing they're buried alive and will rise up again down the road. They go from clam-up, to build-up, to blow-up, inviting physical and emotional illness. Meanwhile offences accumulate, unaddressed issues multiply and unfinished business erodes the relationship.

B) The attack style. These are the 'get them before they get you' people; ruthless fighters who refuse to give in, they inflict terminal wounds on each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other". Attack leads to counterattack, both sides 'dig in' and nothing gets resolved.

C) The approach-assertive style. These are the 'no price is to high for a good relationship' people. They're sensitive to feelings of others, yet insist on dealing directly with important issues. They avoid blaming, confront the issue, not the individual, and invite others to partner with them in solving the problem and saving the relationship!

Ask yourself; which of these categories do 'you fit into". I know which one "I would chose!