Recovering From Loss
Romans (5:3-5)
I'm convinced that no one can fully recover from loss without allowing
himself or herself to feel and express sorrow completely. Yet one person’s
grieving is not another’s. I've seen some people move beyond a significant loss
in a matter of weeks, while others took many, many months. The length of a
person’s recovery says nothing about his or her spirituality. The mourning
process is just as individual and unique as a fingerprint.
While grief is part of our built-in healing process, it’s also possible for a person to so nurture and nourish grief that he or she keeps it alive like a cherished pet. In time, that individual can lose perspective, lose heart, and in many ways, die before dying.
Embracing sorrow is necessary for healing to take place. Equally important is the decision to put an end to the grief. No one can rush the grieving process, but it’s vital we enter it with the determination to stop it one day. That’s why we must seek specific ways to ensure that the healing process lingers no longer than necessary.
Having faced my own share of tragedy and sorrow over the years, I have found two perspectives to be very helpful. One is looking back at the past, and the other is looking forward to the future—in other words, healthy reflection on the hurt and deliberate expectation of the hope that certainly will come. I find that keeping a journal is the best place to do that. In fact, it’s so effective that many grief counselors prescribe journaling to their clients.
I look back by reading through the journals that I have kept over the years. This often helps me see a consistent pattern of God’s faithfulness through old trials, which gives me confidence that any new struggle I face may be just as difficult and just as temporary. As a result, I find myself enduring hurt with a lot less fear. Journaling has equipped me to grieve the inevitable heartbreaks that come, large and small, without re-opening the wounds.
I look forward by making some decisions-resolutions, if you will-as to how I'm going to use my current trials in the future .
I become disgusted with the state of affairs which compel me, daily and hourly, to think of only such trivial things. I force my thoughts to turn to another subject.
Resolving to use current struggles in a better future gives me a sense of mastery over the circumstances that would otherwise feel oppressive. Apostle Paul, drew heavily on personal experience in affirming that, because of the Holy Spirit, no trial would ever dominate him.
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
I have found that resolving to take action in today’s darkness helps me claim the hope that Scripture promises as I press toward a brighter tomorrow.
People enduring a tragedy often need help getting beyond the pain. They may not have the ability to see the hope beyond the hurt. They often need the healthy perspective of loved ones. They may need someone to recount to them past times when God demonstrated His faithfulness. Furthermore, they may have to depend upon the imagination of others in order to envision a future beyond their pain. Many who hurt may not consider processing their thoughts in a journal during the healing process without someone prompting them to start.
Is there someone you know who may be carrying a giant load of sorrow on his or her shoulders?
Is there one coming upon a milestone or a significant transition in life who could use your help in gaining a healthy perspective?
Who might be standing on the threshold of a very challenging future?
Perhaps this friend or loved one hasn't thought to pause and mark the moment. With a glance at the past and a realistic look at the future, maybe you can help him or her see the hope beyond this present hurt. It could be the best gift he or she receives all year.
While grief is part of our built-in healing process, it’s also possible for a person to so nurture and nourish grief that he or she keeps it alive like a cherished pet. In time, that individual can lose perspective, lose heart, and in many ways, die before dying.
Embracing sorrow is necessary for healing to take place. Equally important is the decision to put an end to the grief. No one can rush the grieving process, but it’s vital we enter it with the determination to stop it one day. That’s why we must seek specific ways to ensure that the healing process lingers no longer than necessary.
Having faced my own share of tragedy and sorrow over the years, I have found two perspectives to be very helpful. One is looking back at the past, and the other is looking forward to the future—in other words, healthy reflection on the hurt and deliberate expectation of the hope that certainly will come. I find that keeping a journal is the best place to do that. In fact, it’s so effective that many grief counselors prescribe journaling to their clients.
I look back by reading through the journals that I have kept over the years. This often helps me see a consistent pattern of God’s faithfulness through old trials, which gives me confidence that any new struggle I face may be just as difficult and just as temporary. As a result, I find myself enduring hurt with a lot less fear. Journaling has equipped me to grieve the inevitable heartbreaks that come, large and small, without re-opening the wounds.
I look forward by making some decisions-resolutions, if you will-as to how I'm going to use my current trials in the future .
I become disgusted with the state of affairs which compel me, daily and hourly, to think of only such trivial things. I force my thoughts to turn to another subject.
Resolving to use current struggles in a better future gives me a sense of mastery over the circumstances that would otherwise feel oppressive. Apostle Paul, drew heavily on personal experience in affirming that, because of the Holy Spirit, no trial would ever dominate him.
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
I have found that resolving to take action in today’s darkness helps me claim the hope that Scripture promises as I press toward a brighter tomorrow.
People enduring a tragedy often need help getting beyond the pain. They may not have the ability to see the hope beyond the hurt. They often need the healthy perspective of loved ones. They may need someone to recount to them past times when God demonstrated His faithfulness. Furthermore, they may have to depend upon the imagination of others in order to envision a future beyond their pain. Many who hurt may not consider processing their thoughts in a journal during the healing process without someone prompting them to start.
Is there someone you know who may be carrying a giant load of sorrow on his or her shoulders?
Is there one coming upon a milestone or a significant transition in life who could use your help in gaining a healthy perspective?
Who might be standing on the threshold of a very challenging future?
Perhaps this friend or loved one hasn't thought to pause and mark the moment. With a glance at the past and a realistic look at the future, maybe you can help him or her see the hope beyond this present hurt. It could be the best gift he or she receives all year.
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